Let's Talk About Palentine's Day

Let's Talk About Palentine's Day

Because February 14th isn't exclusively for couples...it's time to gather your besties and get the vino out! Read all about how to reclaim this day right here.

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February 14th—Valentine’s Day. Just hearing the name alone is enough to bring on spontaneous vomiting in some. On the flipside, we all know those smug couples who just cannot wait to proudly display their love for one another through the universally recognized medium of grotesque consumerism. The whole premise of Valentine’s has morphed into this hideous Hallmark tradition that brings many a person to tears, but we’ve got a reason for you to stop bawling right now: Palentine’s Day. Yes, this is the antidote you’ve been looking for. It’s time to reclaim February 14th, warts and all, and make it a day to celebrate love just like old Saint Valentine intended (probably). Not love for your significant other however, but for those people in your life who have seen you with vomit in your hair and still talk to you—your best buds.  Now, unlike with Valentine’s Day, Palentine’s does not discriminate. You can celebrate how much you love your friends whether you are married, single, divorced or ‘it’s complicated’, and that my friends, is the beauty of it.

So now you know that Palentine’s Day exists, but how on earth should you celebrate it?

Throw a Palentine’s Day Party

It’s easy—gather up all of your best friends, buy an inordinate amount of booze and stock up on an array of sweet and salty snacks. This year February 14th is on a Tuesday, so it's likely to be more of an evening affair, unless you want to go all-out and pull a group tactical sickie. Team your pals and superior snacks with some trashy television. Stick on Parks and Recreation in ode to the infamous Galentine’s Day episode, or go for the latest Netflix original. Whatever you do, don’t you dare put on a Rom Com and then cry about how you’re all single. It is completely against the rules to be sad on Palentine’s Day! My suggestion: Aliens, because nothing says true friendship like battling aliens in space.

Friends hugging for Palentine's Day

Palentine’s Day Presents

If you’ve ever done Secret Santa or White Elephant, then you know the drill. Get together a group of your best friends, set a budget, and all buy each other a thoughtful gift to let them know you care. Or if you are anything like my friends, buy each other something hideously embarrassing which verges on the point of bullying (because the meaner you are, the more it means you care!). If there’s only one pal you can really be bothered to celebrate February 14th with, that works too—you can find loads of great cards online to surprise your bestie.

Palentine’s with no Pals: Treat yo’ Self

This very special (and completely invented) day doesn’t judge, so if you don’t even want to hang out with your best buds on Palentine’s Day, no big deal. In fact, some might say, man’s best friend is himself…so why not use February 14th as a fabulous excuse to have some quality alone time? This increases the chance of avoiding smug couples exponentially, and is an all-round great excuse to treat yo’ self. Spa day for one? Yes please. Mini-break to somewhere your ex never wanted to go—why the flip not? A three-course meal for one, courtesy of UberEATS? Sure. You can then feel smug for once on the following day when everyone notices how glowy and relaxed you look, while Gladice from Accounting has noticeable bags under her eyes from staying up past 10pm, pretending to enjoy the missionary position with her husband of 20 years. Smug and single, that’s what it’s all about for Palentine’s Day 2022 people.

Palentine’s with no Pals: Treat yo’ Self